The problem of self- esteem is this human capacity for judgment. It’s one thing to dislike certain colors, noises, shapes, or sensations. But when you reject parts of yourself, you greatly damage the psychological structures that literally keep you alive. Judging and rejecting yourself causes enormous pain. And in the same way that you would favor and protect a physical wound, you find yourself avoiding anything that might aggravate the pain of self-rejection in any way. You limit your ability to open yourself with others, be the center of attention , ask for help, or solve problems. To avoid more judgments and self-rejection, you erect barriers of defense. Perhaps you blame and get angry, or bury yourself in perfectionistic work. Or you turn to alcohol or drugs.

It’s about healing the old wounds of hurt and self-rejection. How you perceive and feel about yourself can change. And when those perceptions and feelings change, the ripple effect will touch every part of your life with a gradually expanding sense of freedom. Hundreds of researchers have quizzed thousands of people of various ages and situations, trying to see what causes self-esteem, who has the most of it, how important it is, how it can be increased, and so on. Studies of young children show clearly that parents’ style of child-rearing during the first three or four years determines the amount of self-esteem that a child starts with. After that, most studies of older children, adolescents, and adults share a common confusion: what is cause and what is effect? Does academic success foster self- esteem, or does self- esteem foster academic success? These are classic chicken- and- egg questions. Just as eggs come from chickens and chickens come from eggs, it seems that self-esteem grows out of your circumstances in life, and your circumstances in life are strongly influenced by your self-esteem.

Which came first? The question has serious implications for your success at raising your self- esteem. If external circumstances determine self- esteem, then all you have to do to improve your self- esteem is to improve your circumstances. The fact is that self- esteem and your circumstances are only indirectly related. There is another intervening factor that determines self-esteem 100 percent of the time: your thoughts. For instance, you look in the mirror and think, “Boy, am I fat. What a slob.” This thought clobbers your self-esteem. If you looked in the mirror and thought, “Well, all right, it looks good to wear my hair like this,” the effect on your self-esteem would be the opposite. The image in the mirror remains the same. Only the thoughts change. In such a case, you don’t change the circumstances, only how you interpret them. Does this mean that circumstances have nothing to do with self-esteem? No. Obviously, in the area of social status, bank vice presidents have more opportunity to feel better about their careers than cab drivers have. This is why a study of 100 vice-presidents and 100 cab drivers will “prove” that the higher status job leads to higher self-esteem. What is overlooked among the statistics is that there are some vice-presidents who slaughter their self-esteem by telling themselves, “I should have been president of my own bank by now. I’m a failure,” just as there are some cabdrivers who feel good about themselves because they think, “So I’m just a cab driver—I’m putting bread on the table, the kids are doing good in school, things are going just fine.”

Proven methods of cognitive behavioral therapy can be used to raise your self-esteem by changing the way you interpret your life. It can show you how to uncover and analyze the negative self-statements you habitually make. You can learn how to create new, objective, positive self- statements that will foster your self-esteem instead of undermining it.

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To begin with write a summary of what you consider you have to alter in yourself. Once you’ve made the list then ask your family and friends that they help you, adding their feedback to your list. As an example, are you impatient, snappy, and too easily capable of criticize others? You think you’re always right, or more able than others? Or are you currently too timid or frightened to place yourself forward, always thinking that other people would do something better? Or are you currently worried that you’re slow to grab on things, or don’t like taking any risks, or worried that somebody might laugh at your suggestions? Do you worry about how you dress, the way in which look, oneself presentation?

Each of the above categories reflects a place which you might want to change. Beginning with the last first, positive thinking in addition to working self improvement is a great confidence booster, and good confidence levels will help you work positively towards your goals and development.

Attitude is incredibly important. An agreeable, helpful and self-confident attitude will invariably impress. However, learning how you can behave calmly when under pressure is not always easy. That is, needless to say, just one single example. What happens if you must project confidence you might not feel. It could be that you will be just shy and feel ill relaxed by incorporating people. Even pretty confident people can sometimes just feel as if they’re around the back foot with someone who generally seems to exude self-confidence and self-belief.

Attitude change is achievable with effort, time and belief you could make positive changes to behaviour. Practice your affirmations, and if possible, find someone to assist you sort out role play. It may feel strange in the beginning, but it may help.

Being able to apply you to ultimately new things could be a bit daunting and sometimes difficult when you have low self-esteem. Though positive thinking self-improvement can be done. Another way of avoiding items you shouldn’t do would be to simply not allow yourself plenty of time. Like that a person always has the excuse that there just wasn’t enough time!

The main element here’s being quite honest about why the main things are difficult for you, or the reason why you just don’t wish to do them. Acknowledging that you might be frightened of not doing something well is usually the one thing between your fear, and also you doing away with that fear. Remember with positive thinking self improvement is possible.

Let’s try this (it’s a test of the emergency affirmation system:) Start by saying, “I like myself” 10 times, in a row, quickly: “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself…”

How does it make you feel? Did it make you feel good? Silly? Brian Tracy came up with that one. I got it from someone else who had great success with it, as well as similar affirmations.

I felt odd when I first tried it out, it felt wrong somehow. How did it make you feel? more often than not we aren’t taught to like or respect ourselves. Our training sometimes seems to teach us not to like ourselves. After all, we’re the ones with a true handle on our own value, right?

We all participate in our own self talk. That’s what we say to and about ourselves when we’re the only one’s listening. Our thoughts count, too. How many of us treat ourselves like we’d treat someone who we’re tying to encourage? Not many of us.

Generally, we’re not exactly our own cheering section. After 20 or 30 or 50 years of this criticism, where are we? That’s what we have to reverse. We want to learn to say things, to ourselves, that are a much more positive and uplifting than what we have been saying. This has endless positive benefits, such as improved self esteem and better results in all the things that we try.

Our lives, and the lives of those around us, can be changed remarkably by the use of positive affirmations.  After all, we may tease the person who is always positive, but isn’t it much nicer to be around him (or her) than the one who is always tearing himself/herself, and others, down.  And then the positive (and focused) person always seems to accomplish more and have more fun doing it.

You can go about creating your affirmations, depending on what you need to work on, or you can start with the basics, such as the “I like myself,” above. Other basic affirmations are along the lines of, “I am Happy,” “I am confident,” “I am attractive,” and so on.

The trick is that they don’t work if you don’t practice them often. Just for today pick one affirmation, to start, and say it out loud ten times, while looking in the mirror (Ok, we’re getting tough here. ) You don’t have to do it with anyone else present, but you should do it first and last thing, as well as some time at mid day.

The nest step is to keep doing that for a week. See how it makes you feel. it will become a habit if you can keep it up for three weeks and you will be feeling a lot better about doing it.

This means that no two creations can be identical, whether they are paintings, sketches, floral arrangements, or written works.  Even if you tried to duplicate a work done by someone else, yours would likely vary even in subtle ways.  That’s because with everything you create, you bring your own personal perspective and experiences into the mix.

This is especially interesting when you consider that how you view yourself will be reflected in any of your creative works.  If you think poorly of yourself, you might not put forth the same amount of effort and joy and passion into your work as you would with healthy self-esteem.  A poor self-image is usually accompanied by a sense of defeatism, a feeling that there is no point in trying to create anything beautiful because you probably wouldn’t do it right anyway.  A poor self-image also nearly guarantees that even if you did create something beautiful, you wouldn’t see it as beautiful.  You’d obsess over flaws and inconsistencies, and you would dismiss any compliments others tried to give you about your work.

A healthy self-esteem creates just the opposite effect.  With positive self-esteem, you wouldn’t be afraid to engage deeply and meaningfully with your creative self.  You would focus more on enjoying the creative process rather than obsessing about getting it “perfect.”  You would take pleasure in the act of creating itself, as well as taking pleasure in the finished result of your efforts.  You would enjoy the compliments that others give you about your works, and allow yourself to feel good about what you have accomplished.

Here are three simple ways to build your self-esteem and enhance your creativity:

Honor your uniqueness.  Most of us spend a large portion of our adult lives trying desperately to blend in and be like everyone else, but eventually we come to the realization that such an intention diminishes our joy.  Instead, take time each day to honor yourself for who you are.  Let your uniqueness be a plus rather than a minus.  Strive to make everything you do your own unique creation, whether you are focusing on mundane chores or work projects or a piece of artwork.

Love the process, not just the end result.  Allow yourself to tap into your natural creative inspiration and engage fully with whatever you are doing.  Let your creative self lead the way, and don’t worry about perfection or what others might think of you or your work.  Allow yourself to enjoy every minute you spend in the act of creation, for it enhances your enjoyment of the end result too.  If you don’t enjoy the journey, you won’t enjoy the destination either.

Know you deserve time to yourself.  Creative activities are one of the things we tend to eschew when we get very busy or when we struggle with a poor self-image.  Since they are typically viewed as unnecessary activities, we feel guilty taking time for something we enjoy doing.  Consider your creative activities as vital to your well-being as breathing and sleeping.  Give yourself time to do things you enjoy each day.  Affirm and know that you deserve the pleasure you get from exploring and expressing your creative side. 

While healthy self-esteem can enhance your creativity, engaging in creative activities frequently can also help boost your self-esteem!  Creative pursuits have a way of connecting us with our deeper selves in profound and beneficial ways.  The more you allow yourself this needed respite from the more mundane aspects of your life, the more the rest of your life will seem to transform into something beautiful also.